In a surprising development, Karma, the cute white Tibetan Terrier (which is not really a terrier at all) is considering a run at the U. S. Senate seat in Florida presently held by Marco Rubio.
Her candidacy was inspired by Duke, the 9 year-old Great Pyrenees that has recently won a third one-year term as honorary mayor of Cormorant Township in Minnesota.
Speaking through an interpreter she said: “We are being overrun by illegal Mexican chihauhuas and ‘Lil Marco supports granting them amnesty and even allowing them to compete at Westminster. These illegal Mexican immigrants have criminal backgrounds (expired dog licenses!) and run drugs (black market flea meds!) and are a threat to homegrown dogs—even though there are some, I suppose, who are nice.”
Laying on her poolside cabana she calming mused about the problem: “I hear that they are crossing our border with ‘coyotes.’ We will have a bigly problem in the future when we have cross-bred coyotes and chihauhuas. Trust me.” Karma took a brief time-out to lick her butt and then continued with what was now becoming a rant.
“’Lil Marco has done nothing to protect the right to be secure within our doghouses for all American canines. All he cares about are those Havanese. If I were to win I would build a wall. Believe me. It would be high enough that not just the chihauhuas couldn’t jump over it but neither could the coyotes. Believe me, believe me.”
[This reporter had the odd feeling that Karma’s speech was familiar–was she plagiarizing, and if so, from whom?]
While her announcement has not been made official, Karma has already picked up the endorsement of former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke who yesterday issued his unsolicited endorsement: “I love Karma’s white fur. I support white power in all forms. I am overjoyed to see that she is embracing issues I have championed for years. It’s time we put America first!” Asked if she would accept Duke’s endorsement she glared at the reporter who asked the question and responded: “Grrrrrrrrrr.”
Karma seemed fully prepared when asked about her own immigrant roots. “My ancestors came here legally when the Chinese took over Tibet. By nature we are a peaceful breed. Indeed one of my distant relatives, Senge, was the Dalai Lama’s most loyal companion. So, I understand oppression. But the important difference is that my kind came here legally, the Mexican chihauhuas are being dumped here by the Mexican government. We must build a wall to keep them out. And, what’s more, I will make the Mexican Kennel Club pay for it! Believe me.”
Meanwhile, Florida politics continues to amaze us all.